Having life goals can be beneficial to our happiness and wellbeing. They are something we have chosen and have set aside time to work on. They give a feeling of empowerment as we accomplish the tasks we set ourselves. In this article, I will consider some of the things worth bearing in mind when choosing your goals.

If you want to feel fulfilled from the goals you set and want to guarantee that you will achieve them, it is important that you choose the right goals. What follows are some principles to bear in mind so you are not left feeling frustrated and disappointed.

If goal setting as a conscious activity is a fairly new concept to you, you may want to start with a small goal. This way you quickly prove something to yourself. Perhaps you might see these goals as practice before you get to work on your larger goal.

If you decide to go for a large goal, try not to set too many at once as you may struggle to find the time to devote to each one.

Of course a large goal can be broken down into a series of very small goals, which eventually result in that major goal being met. This is a good idea as being faced with a huge goal can be overwhelming. You may want to put pen to paper and break down the large goal into small steps. Then consider each step as a goal in its own right.

The challenge

To keep your goal interesting you will want a challenge. If it is too easy, you will probably get bored and quickly lose interest. Although an easy goal can be quickly achievable, if it is too easy you may be working too much in your comfort zone and so are gaining very little. However, if the goal is too challenging, it may be too much for you. You end up feeling disgruntled, uninspired and eventually give up. It’s like choosing an exercise DVD. Too easy and you have made little difference to your fitness and the time invested is essentially wasted. Too hard and you may end up sat down watching the instructor workout, then never pick the dvd up again. Ideally you would want a video that is manageable but will work you hard.

Only set goals that are truly within your power to meet. As such it is important that they do not rely on the actions of others. This has the potential of bringing great disappointment and disillusionment. For example, saying you want children by a certain age; remember this requires the assistance of another and generally you will want to be in a relationship. Related to this is the goal of wanting to be married by a certain age. What if the right person has not come along by then? Do you frantically look for anyone in order to meet your goal? Or do you declare yourself a failure?

Money is another goal to be wary of. Wanting to become a millionaire may work for some, but the reality is we are not all entrepreneurial types. Aim high yes, but keep it realistic. Remember, money doesn’t buy happiness nor does the acquisition of material goods. Talking of happiness, try to choose goals that give you a sense of meaning and pleasure as well as giving you an opportunity to use your strengths and experience flow.

When choosing your goals, bear in mind all aspects of your life. You should try to have a good life balance which means giving attention to your work, relationships, health and leisure. Try to consider all of these when goal setting. Is there any area that needs improving or changing? Also, make sure that when you focus on a particular area of your life you do not end up neglecting other areas.

Make sure that the goal you set is for you, not someone else. Also, it should be because you want to do it not because you believe you should do it. Be honest with yourself and you can make the goals you set work for you. For example, it is no use trying to quit smoking to please your partner – you are destined to fail. Think of your own reasons – your goal should be personal to you.

Be aware that some goals have no end point and can be ongoing. Sometimes a goal we have can become habit. For example ‘getting fit’ really has no end. To be effective it will become part of your life. Your goal may have been to lose 5kgs through exercise. However, be warned that if you stop exercising once you reach your goal, you will probably put it all back on again. Make sure you have a plan in place for what you intend to do once your goal is achieved. Can you move on to another goal or will it be something that becomes part of your life?

Have a look at my other articles on setting up and achieving your goals.