No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

Has someone been kind to you today? Feels good doesn’t it? When someone does something generous, you feel grateful for their action and pleased that they thought of you. Perhaps your partner bought you a cup of tea in bed or a stranger let you in ahead of them when you were in your car waiting at a busy junction. Remember this good feeling as you continue reading through this article.

If you want to be happy but are not sure where to start, then I suggest you begin by being kinder.  Acts of giving will boost your wellbeing as well as offering something good to the recipient and the world at large. Furthermore they can take many, many forms and so you can do something that suits you personally. For instance, you can do voluntary work for an organisation; you can do good deeds in your neighbourhood, for friends, family, work colleagues, strangers. You can give as much of your time as suits.

When you are looking out to do good things in the world, you will find yourself viewing the world differently as you are focusing on the positive difference you can make, rather than just seeing the bad. Giving also means you forget about yourself for a while as your energies are absorbed with what is going on with another. This can be especially helpful if you are prone to the worries or feelings of depression. Furthermore, such immersion is a sure way to a flow experience. Flow experiences are those moments when you are so absorbed in something, everything else is forgotten, and afterwards you feel great.

Being kind can benefit you in other ways. If you decide to do volunteer work, you open yourself up to new experiences, meeting new people and learning new skills.  You can draw upon and even develop your strengths as you carry out your acts of kindness. For instance, your creativity and open-mindedness can help you come up with ideas for helping and your courage may be needed to ensure you implement them.

Remember, a truly generous person does good without expecting anything in return. So don’t do it just for the praise. However, what you will get in return is greater happiness. There is also something known as the feel-good, do-good phenomenon (Salovey, 1990), where being happy inclines a person to be more generous, which in turn brings greater happiness.

Research has been conducted which supports the link between kindness and happiness. For example:

• Steger found people who engaged in activities helping others were happier and reported a greater purpose in life than those who mainly engaged in pleasure-seeking activities.

• Thoits and Hewitt’s work showed happy people are more likely to do volunteer work. Also, volunteers became happier the more they volunteered.

• Kindness as a strength has been associated with a return to life satisfaction after experiencing physical illness, according to research by Peterson, Park and Seligman.

• Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research had students carry out 5 random acts of kindness one day a week, for six weeks. After six weeks, the students reported greater levels of wellbeing and happiness compared to the group who had not carried out the kindness acts.

Tips to being a kinder person

• You don’t just have to do volunteer work to be a kinder person. Remember you can carry out good deeds on a daily basis, in your home or at work. You can do something for people you know as well as people you don’t know.

• Try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

• Offer genuine compliments.

• Give small gifts.

• Plan something special for a loved one.

• Share your possessions without getting uptight about them.

• Avoid gossiping in emails and on the telephone. Instead make a conscious effort to only say good things about others.

• You have something to offer. Think of ways you can share that information.

• Think of ways in which you might be a positive influence on someone’s life.

• When you see an opportunity to help, take it. Don’t just keep walking.

• Not every act of kindness needs to be acknowledged. You are better off assuming you won’t be. You are doing them because you want to, not for the thanks. This will ensure you won’t feel resentment if people don’t respond as you’d imagined. This resentment can lead you to deciding that it’s pointless being kind as it gets you nowhere. 

• Carry out secret good deeds. These are acts of kindness that you carry out for another, without telling that person you did it. It’s a great way to increase your humility.

• Recognise that each act, no matter how small, will be making a difference.  It doesn’t have to be the grand gesture. Holding a door open for someone is something we can all appreciate.